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I love you till I die 30.01.05
He was looking at me and my heart stopped beating. I did not feel the floor right under my feet. My breath was getting faster and at that moment I knew it, either him or nobody. But this moment lasted just a few seconds and then I did not see him anymore.
It was on March 1st in 1999, when I got out of the bus and looked around.
>Nothing. Where is he? <
I had seen him only once, but I felt if I had known him my whole life. Behind me, more and more students pushed themselves out of the bus. But I did not notice it. My thoughts circled around this boy. He was my dream boy. Short black hair, hazelnut brown eyes and a fantastic radiation. When he look into the bus and our looks were meet, I knew I would get to know him. "Hey Olivia!" said someone behind me. I turned round and saw Sandra. Sandra, yes, she was the boy's favorite. With her long, blond hair, her great looking face and her perfect body she was able to have every boy she wanted to. "Olivia, what's going on with you? Why didn't you come to me in the bus?!" I didn't listen to her, I was still thinking about that boy. "Olivia?!" she knocked with her finger on my shoulder, "Do you listen to me!?!" "Sure. ", I answered without thinking about it. I wanted to go to school and Sandra was following me. "What is going on with you? Tell me! Come on! What is going on with you?"
"Oh, I just fell in love with a boy, he is the sweetest boy I have ever seen." I spoke confused "Sure, every week you are mad about another boy, yesterday it was James and today the name of your big love is Jason, Jason Palk" Sandra laughs about me.
"Sandra, please believe me. I have not seen such beautiful eyes before!"
"Come on we have to get to school now. I don't want to be late." Said Sandra in a loud voice. I did not go to school, I only could think about that boy at the bus. So I went to the cliff, my favorite place. Just sitting there and thinking about everything, was the best for me. I was sitting on the rock and looking at the ocean. I must have been sitting there for a long time, thinking about the life and its sense.
Now this was five years ago. I was 17 years old and first I thought I would never have a relationship with him. But it happened faster than I supposed. So I sat there on the ground and looked at the ocean. < He will never kiss me> I thought. Suddenly I heard somebody say my name.
"Olivia?" I did not know that voice, so I turned around. I could not see the face of the person, because the sun blinded me.
"Olivia?" asked somebody "I saw you going to the cliff so I followed you.mmm... Yes I wanted.. I wanted to tell you something." No I could see the face. I felt hot and cold simultaneously. It was him. The boy of my dreams. I whipped the tears off my face. Thi
was five years ago and I still know it like the day when it happened. My face turned red, like a tomato. I unconditionally wanted to say something, but I could not!
He was so nervous too and I did not believe what happened. Jason stammered some words like: "I...I...I...I have to.hmm I have to tell you. that I fell.that I fell in love with you." Then he gave me a kiss. I did not know Jason very well, but it did not matter. I think at this moment I was the happiest girl in the world. I do not remember how or what I felt at that moment but this was the beginning of such a great and incredible time.
For example we drove together to Paris, a wellness hotel and relaxed there for one week. It wasn't as easy as it might seem, because we were 17 years old, lived in Scotland, in Glasgow and had to go by the train. It was hart but also funny. Jason seemed to love me more than his own life, we were happy until the day Jason had to move to England. In London he should work for his boss in an important company. I was sure; it would be an extraordinary challenge for our great love, to live 100 km away from each other. First we were shocked and could not imagine living in different countries or only in different cities, nevertheless we had to try. We did not even think about seperating, we were so much in love and promised not to forget and to phone everyday. The first two months we phoned every day, but I missed him too much. I had to think about Jason every minute, I am sure I had to think about Jason every second. I dreamt of him at night. I missed him so much, believed him when he swore to love and miss me. In July I could not imagine not to see him on his Birthday. So I spontaneously decided to fly to England. I was so glad about seeing my darling soon. When I arrived in England, I was extremely eager to see how he would react. I knew the greatest present for him was to see me, so I called a taxi to drive to Jason mother. I had told her that I would come to England so she would be at home and could give me the key to his apartment. After a visit at Misses Palks to get the key, she drove me to Jason's apartment. In the car she asked me a thousand questions. Although I answered her questions I did not really pay attention to her. I could only think about my boyfriend the whole time. I was sure that he would be happy to see me.
"I am so glad to see you Olivia and I am certain Jason misses you so much. Every day he tells me how much he loves you,"
"Yes Misses Palk."
"He will be very happy to see you! What will you do when he comes in to the apartment?"
"I don't know!"
"I see, you are nervous?"
"Yes Miss Palk" Maybe it was really impudent not to listen to her. But I could not, I was still thinking about Jason.
When we arrived in the street where Jason lived, I was really thankful, but probably she did not notice. In this moment I did not care and could not believe that I was really at Jason's apartment. Therefore I did not say thank you for driving me. It was an exciting feeling to go in his apartment, when I opened the door, many clothes were lying on the floor. His underpants hang on the chair, and I could not see much furniture. Only the things he really needed. That was typical for Jason, he would never buy expensive clothes or useless things, like a desk, eggcups or a carpet. But that is why I loved him so much. I loved all his little mistakes! I was in a hurry to cook a romantic candle light dinner, and his favourite meal Lasagne was not easy to prepare. I tried hard to create a perfect atmosphere and could not wait to see him. While preparing the meal I heard somebody open the door. This had to be Jason. But then I could not believe my eyes, I was sure, this could not be true.
I asked myself how this could be, Jason who always pretended to be faithful!
>Why is he doing that to me?> Tears came into my eyes. I got up and ran away.
>Why is he doing that to me? He promised me not to do that! Do not do that to me, you can not!> I thought. I saw Jason kissing another girl! He looked at her the same way he used to look at me, gave her a kiss the way he used to kiss me and said I love you the way he used to tell me. The tears were running down my face, I felt emptiness and my little world broke down. I felt how the tears were running down my face and I started crying." I could not understand. I closed my eyes, ran into the restroom, took my mobile phone and called him.
"Hey darling, what are you doing now?" I asked Jason.
"Hey sweetie, I miss you so much, thank you, today I am doing nothing, I am alone in my bedroom and I feel so bored without you. I would like to be by your side, I love you till I die." "I love you till I die too."
PIP PIP PIP PIP PIP. When I said these words I took a knife from the cupboard, and killed my self. Jason did not care that I was lying on the floor, dead. He only laughed.
When I noticed a Hand on my shoulder, I opened my eyes and heard somebody whispering: "wake up, wake up Olivia." I turned around and realized that everything had just been a dream. I overslept the lesson, during my boyfriend Jason was in England at work.
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