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He was looking at me and my heart stopped beating. I didn't feel the floor right under my feet. My breathing was getting faster and in this moment I knew it, he or nobody. But this moment lasted just a few seconds and then I didn't see him anymore.
I got out of the bus and looked around. >Nothing. Where is he? < I had seen him just once, but I felt as I had known him my whole life. Behind me, more and more students pushed themselves out of the bus. But I didn't notice it. My thoughts circled around this boy. He was my dream boy. Short black hair, hazelnut brown eyes and a fantastic radiation. When he was looking into the bus and our looks were meeting, I knew I got to know him.
"Hey Olivia!" said someone behind me. I turned and saw Sandra. Sandra, yes, she was the boy's favorite. With her long, brown hair, her great looking face and her perfect body she could have every boy she wanted.
"Olivia, what's going on with you? Why didn't you come to me at the bus? If it's because of Jason, then I'm sorry, but I don't have to tell you all of my dates!" I didn't listen to her, I was still thinking about that boy. "Olivia?!" she knocked with her finger at my shoulder, "Do you listen to me!?!" "Sure. ", I answered without thinking about it.
I went to school and Sandra started to following me. "What's going on with you? Tell me! Come on!" >"What's going on with you?" - Is she really asking me that?!!< She had had a date with Jason, that boy, that I wanted to be mine. That wouldn't have been that bad if she hadn't kissed him! And I saw it! I knew she wouldn't have told me, if I haven't seen them. She had always told me proudly of all her dates except this one.
"It's because of you and Jason. I'm sorry but that kiss was too much for me!" "We will talk about that, if you come down. I don't want to have any fights today!" I didn't want to have any fights today, too, so I just said that I was sorry.
I was really sorry. I just made other people have problems. It had been just a kiss! OK it wasn't just a kiss and I was still angry but I didn't want to have a quarrel instead of that I had to sit all alone at lunchtime. And I don't like it. "We'll talk later on, ok?" No! Nothing was ok! I wanted to scream on her, how I felt, but I answered in a low voice "Ok."
At lunch break I heard Sandra calling me, "Olivia! Come here! Eat with us!" she was sitting there with her whole clique. There were just the more popular boys and the sweetest girls from our school. At the beginning I was so proud to sit with them, but now it was normal. But there was one problem: If I had an argument with Sandra, they'd be at her side and help her. And if that clique didn't like you, no one on the school liked you. And because of that I'd be all alone, if I had trouble with Sandra. I sat down at their table and started eating, as always.
Sandra now knew about that boy. I wrote it in a letter during the lessons, after she had asked me a few times. And suddenly I saw him! He was standing at the door and looking around. I told it Sandra and when she was looking at him I told her: "You know he's mine? Please! It's love at first sight. You know?" "Yes, yes." , she answered still looking at him. And I was so foolish and believed her! She got up and went to him. They started talking and then they were coming to us. He was standing in front of me and I couldn't stop looking at him. Sandra introduced him to all the people at the table.
"Hi! I'm Brendan! Nice to meet you!" he sat between Sandra and me and I really couldn't stop looking at him, while we were planning our weekend. And suddenly I recognized it! She was flirting with him! And it was looking as if he likes her, too! That was too much to take! Sandra, she who always pretended to be my best friend! >Why is she doing that to me? < Tears came into my eyes so I stood up and ran away.
When I was in a silent place I sat down into the grass and started crying. >Why is she doing that to me? She promised me not to do that! < "Olivia? Where are you?" I heard Sandra shouting. I looked up and she came over to me. She sat next to me and whipped the tears out of my face. "You have to listen to me now!" she started, "I have to tell you that I fell in love with him. It's more that a flirt or that with Jason. I really love him. I can do nothing against it. Please, don't be angry!" I felt emptiness and my little world broke down. I felt how the tears were running down my face and I started crying. After a few minutes I answered: "Sandra, please, don't do that to me. You can't! You know how I fell about him!" for a long time she was looking at me, but then she answered: "I'm sorry, but he's not interested in you. He told me so." Without saying anything I stood up and went away. Sandra wasn't following me. Only a few meters and I was at the cliff, my favorite place. Just sitting here and thinking about everything, was the best for me. I was sitting on the ground and looking at the ocean. I was sitting there for a long time and was thinking about the life and it's sense. >Why do I life? Nobody needs me! Nobody is interested in me! < While I was sitting there and thinking, Louisa, a friend of Sandra, gave Brendan my handy number.
I started thinking about suicide. It would be the best solution. Then I wouldn't have to see Sandra and her clique anymore. And I wouldn't be a burden to the others. The longer I was thinking about it, the better it seemed. Slowly I stood up and went nearer to the abyss. It was very high! >But if I would do it, I wouldn't have any problems. Nobody would miss me. And Brendan wouldn't recognize that I'm no longer there. Why does no one love me? < I went two steps to the edge of the abyss and put of my jacket took off. Now I'll just have to go one step and then everything would be ok.
At the same time Sandra told Louisa that Brendan wasn't interested in her. All the time he had asked her about me. But she wouldn't tell me that, because she couldn't stand that my boyfriend would be better than hers. Sandra and Louisa couldn't know that I had decided to jump. I was sure that's the only and best solution. I closed my eyes and breathed a last time, then I made the last step.
I didn't notice that I had received an SMS in this second: HI OLIVIA! I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU. CAN WE MEET? BRENDAN
I didn't fell how my neck broke.
I'm dead.
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